Crazy Candian Quotes

What?!?  Oh man!  Now I won't be able to shred  down the mountain like I usually do.  -- Derek, upon being told by the snowboard rental clerk that there are no snowboards in his size.

Derek, if you're having problems, you should drink some Metamucil.

No way.  If Gavin can stand Megacolon, so can I. -- Amanda and Derek, discussing constipation.

You know, moose poop gets hard instantly.

Kind of like me  today!?!

Yeah!!! -- Overheard at dinner

Hey, I never knew that all Canadians look Asian!  --  Derek, in his first few hours in Canada.  (Incidentally, we were in Calgary's Chinatown district at the time.)

What's the dumbest city in the U.S.?

Texas! -- Car conversation

Stop brushing your titties  up against me unless you want some -- Overheard in Aurora's, a popular Banff night club.

What?!?  You have to pay  to use the hot springs?!?  What kind of *&%$-up &%^ is that?  Those Nature Nazis!  It's like, "Hey, here's something beautiful and natural.  Why don't we put up a concrete wall  and charge people fifty bucks to use it?."  I mean, isn't that illegal or something?!?

Canada's #1 export: Hot Women. -- Gavin, one evening at Aurora's, upon realizing that he had only Derek to shack up with for the rest of the trip.